Middle Class Rut is a duo consisting of guitarist Zack Lopez and drummer Sean Stockham. Both of the guys sing also. From Sacramento California, the band was formed in 2006 after the dissolution of the group Leisure, a band the two were in when they were teenagers.
The video for this song shows Zack and Sean involved in various forms of execution. Digging their own graves, wearing nooses, and the like. It’s a strong visual that is sure to keep you morbidly interested if the song itself doesn’t do that already. (Spoiler, it does.) If you’ve managed to read through my long winded “About Me” page you’ll know that I’m more about the music itself than the lyrics, but the words are important too, so let’s explore the meaning:
I have no space, no room to move around
And this box is getting smaller
I’m trying to get out
He feels confined. Fairly straight forward, but (as it’s later on revealed) it’s the confinement of depression that he’s grappling with.
How did I get so far from where I was?
When did I decide to lose my way?
Who have I become?
He’s strayed from where he used to be, probably a happier place. His life has taken him somewhere he hasn’t intended and he doesn’t really know how to deal with that. He’s still trying to decide whether or not to accept it, or change it back.
I’ve got a new low
All 52 cards in a row
I see now that I won’t let go
No I won’t let go
A new low; a personal best for his life sucking. All 52 cards in a row is a metaphor for every card that it’s possible to get (everything in his life) has come to him at a time that is inconvenient for him. Nothing he is dealt makes a good hand (a good situation.) But he won’t let go. Some part of him wants to fix it.
Well who am I?
A cold shoulder left to cry
You feel bad? Well so do I
Yeah so do I
It seems to me that the two idiomatic expressions “To give someone a cold shoulder” and “to cry on one’s shoulder” are blended here. Who is he? a cold shoulder, because he’s ignoring others, and he’s sad about that. But who has the only shoulder he can cry about it on? Yeah, himself. And he feels bad about that. Do you?
I’ve been right, I’ve been left
I’ve been wrong, I’ve been left behind
I’ve been up but mostly down
(x2)
He’s been right, left, well everywhere really. Looking for companionship probably. He’s been wrong and abandoned for it. And sure he’s been up, but mostly down, as in sad of course. The whole stanza is repeated several times throughout the song, because it’s probably a significant part of the message. He is depressed. Fairly to the point I suppose.
I can not help feeling like I have so much at stake
So I lock myself inside my head
And I just run in place
If he fails now, or gives in to his depression, he’s afraid of what will happen. In order to try to cope with that he chooses to ignore it and “run in place.”
So many directions I don’t know which way to go
I’m so busy doing nothing
I got nothing to show
He realizes he has options here, but he hasn’t acted on any of them. He has nothing to show for his situation because he hasn’t done anything about it. This is the worst part about the viscious cycle of depression. You don’t feel like doing anything about it because you don’t think it will work anyway. But then nothing changes and you feel even more hopeless because nothing is changing. Ad infinitum. No bueno.
I’ve got a new low
All 52 cards in a row
I see now that I won’t let go
No I won’t let go
We’ve been over this one.
Well who am I?
A cold shoulder used to cry
You feel bad? Well so do I
Yeah so do I
This one too, though the word ‘left’ is now ‘used’
I’ve been right, I’ve been left
I’ve been wrong, I’ve been left behind
I’ve been up but mostly down
(x2)
And this one.
[Really cool guitar solo]
I make mistakes just like everybody else
But instead I’m letting go of it
I can’t forgive myself
He won’t let himself forget that his mistakes have got him to this point. But by not doing so, he holds himself accountable for something he isn’t willing to fix. Viscious cycle indeed.
Well I did my time in a windowless box, like it or not
All I got now is today, tomorrow ain’t here
And yesterday has gone dead on me anyway
Whether he wanted to or not, he did his time alone. He’s used to having only himself for company. And he doesn’t think he has much of a future, and his past certainly isn’t anything to brag about so he feels that he only has today. Right now. He lives in the moment, or as much as he feels up to doing so.
I’ve been right, I’ve been left
I’ve been wrong, I’ve been left behind
I’ve been up but mostly down
(x4)
Once again, repeated 4 times though. Driving home the point even more thoroughly.
(Spoken) “After your dreams have all died,
And morning isn’t morning,
What are you?”
Well that’s cryptic. My answer to his question is that you need to find a new dream. =) Stay hopeful, don’t give up.
The best part of song lyrics is that they are indeed a form of poetry, meaning you get to take whatever meaning from them you want to. These are my opinions, what are yours?
_Saxton